My What!
by fee-kh
Summary: Am using the oldest cliche in the book, but maybe it will turn out well.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers apply. I do not own the Gilmore Girls and I am just messing. I have no responsibility. If, of course, however you find me a genius and would like me to write for the show, then yes it was totally me, drop me a line.

A/N: I have decided to use that most tacky of jump the shark moments, a plot overused in countless soap operas. May I be much better at it.

_Prologue_

The lunch time rush was only just coming to an end when the phone rang. Grumbling to himself, Luke picked up the receiver and threw a 'Yeah. Luke's Diner' at the other end.

For a second there was silence, then an official sounding voice as: "Am I speaking with Mr. Lucas Danes?"

Rolling his eyes, Luke responded: "Yeah, what can I do for you?"

The woman's voice continued: "I'm glad I got you straight away. I know this may come as a bit of a shock to you and I don't want you to be alarmed. Everything is fine as far as we can tell, no serious damage although the blow to the head has caused a minor concussion."

"Lady, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I'm sorry, sir. I should have said at the beginning. Your wife has had an accident."

Luke's mind which had been casually calculating the profit of the day, snapped to attention. "Come again?"

"Your wife has had an accident, Mr. Danes. Now don't be too worried, because…"

"My What?"

The woman sounded thoroughly confused now. "At nine o'clock this morning a young woman was delivered to Hartford General Hospital. A branch had fallen from a tree and knocked her unconscious. An ambulance was called, but she only regained consciousness about a half hour ago. When questioned, she declared she felt fine. She has a mild concussion, so we need somebody to drive her home and keep an eye on her. She said that wouldn't be a problem, as her husband could be reached under the number I have just dialled." Her voice had gotten increasingly irritated. "I am speaking with Lucas Danes, am I not?"

Luke was still confounded. Surely this was some kind of elaborate joke. "Yeah, that's me. What's my - mmm - wife's name?"

Now the voice was really surprised. "Well, Mrs. Danes gave her full name as Lorelai Gilmore Danes and her birth date as …"

"I'll be right there." Luke cut her off. Dropping the pone back on its hook, he grabbed his keys and was out of the door like a shock, completely ignoring the increasingly curious expressions on the faces of his customers. In the process of closing the door, he leaned back in and shouted: "CAESAR! I'm going to Hartford. Family emergency. Close up when this lot is done. I don't know how long its gonna take."

On the way to his truck another thought hit him and catching sight of Kirk he corralled him to the cause.

"Kirk, listen up. I need you to go and pick Rory up from school and bring her to Hartford General." He cut off the boy's objections. "No, listen. Lorelai's had an accident. Nothing too serious. She is up and talking."

Kirk frowned smiled: "While I am perfectly aware of the honour you do me, I have to ask why I am to bring Rory to Hartford. I take it you're picking Lorelai up? Why do I have to bring Rory to the hospital, too?"

"Well, I want to give you time to prepare her."

"Prepare her for what? I thought you said Lorelai is fine? Are you lying to me, because people are constantly doing that to save my feelings. I can handle all kinds of bad news. Is Lorelai dying?"

"God, no! Kirk! That's not it at all." Luke shifted uncomfortably, a tinge of red colouring his cheeks. "Well, Lorelai didn't give her my number to pick her up. She told them her name was Gilmore-Danes and gave them the number of her husband to pick her up."

Kirk's jaw dropped through the floor. "Come again?"

"That's what I said. Look, just pick Rory up and bring her to the hospital. Hopefully I will have it all sorted out by the time you drop her off." Luke didn't believe it himself.

"Wow, that is amazing news."

"Kirk, if you tell anybody about this, then I am cutting you off from the pancakes on Sunday mornings."

"But you know mother doesn't cook for me Sundays. She did it for all my brothers and sisters. Twelve brothers and sisters. You would just let me go hungry."

"Yes. Unless you keep stumm about what you heard here and now."

"Say no more. I will absolve my mission with the utmost secrecy." Looking to all sides, Kirk moves away to his mother's car, all the while keeping a weather eye out for any potential spies.

Luke meanwhile was already miles away in thought, as he finally got into his truck and drove off to Hartford. He decided that this situation had all the makings for a grade A disaster.

"My wife?"


	2. Hey Honey!

A/N: Okay, it has been a while since I started writing this, and I got a bit confused. So, two years after the wedding that wasn't. Rory is not at Yale yet. Dean just drops her off, the first person Luke saw. (Okay just changed that. She gets picked up by Kirk. Just can't get Dean to fit in my head. You know if I had a scale, there would be Tristan at the top - cause I think he's great, then Finn, then Jess and somewhere on the bottom of the scale, as in the whole world would have to go to the ringer there is Dean. Maybe. )This story is about Lorelai and Luke, so Rory is kinda peripheral. Maybe I will send her to her dad. Um, and Lorelai has been having a lot of - shall we say interesting? - dreams. Oh and Luke was willing to be a bit more helpful with the wedding and Lorelai begged for the chuppa - a lot - as only she can wheedle.

A/N2: Yeah, the oldest trick in the book sounds kinda suggestive, doesn't it. I just meant that 'jump the shark' thing that they do on soaps when they run out of ideas. When in doubt, let the main character/romantic interest lose their memory. Just look at Lois and Clark, although she was replaced with a robot at the time. Talk about turning back time. Anyway, that's what I meant.

_Chapter 1:_

_Hey, honey!_

"God, I hate hospitals!" Luke shuddered, as he apprehensively approached the desk at Hart General Hospital.

"Can I help you?" The chirpy nurse behind the desk practically sang out her question. Luke stared at her for a moment, curbing the impulse to ask right back with 'I don't know. Can you?' Instead he took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes, I'm Luke Danes. I'm here about my wife, Lorelai Danes." He found it slightly disconcerting how easily Lorelai's 'new' name crossed his lips, not to mention the thrill of satisfaction that went through him after saying it. "Dr. … - I'm sorry I forgot to ask for a name. It's a woman though. Um, you called me about an hour ago."

Nurse Chirpy typed furiously into her computer for a moment, before sparkling at him again. "That would be Dr. Levine. Your wife is in Casualty, but Dr. Levine requested you be sent up to her office first. It's on the second floor, room 216."

Luke thanked her and took the stairs up to the second floor.

Dr. Levine, a kindly woman in her fifties, with greying hair plaited around her head, answered the door herself. A point in her favour as far as Luke was concerned. "Ah, Mr. Danes, I presume. Reception told me you were on your way up. And of course your wife has told me so much about you. Among other things that you make the best coffee on the East Coast. She says she has never been anywhere west of Denver so can't judge their coffee, but that this side of Denver is definitely covered."

Luke had to laugh at the oh-so Lorelai statement, then sobered.

"Dr. Levine. I have to tell you something. It is a bit embarrassing."

"Lorelai isn't your wife, I know." the doctor interrupted him kindly.

"How? What? Why?"

"Those are some excellent questions. After our phone call, I admit I was a bit curious. I flatter myself to have some knowledge of the human psyche, though I am not a psychiatrist of course. Your reaction to the news that your wife was in an accident, no matter how harmless, seemed off. So I went back and we did a couple more tests, asked a few of the difficult questions and we came up with amnesia."

"Amnesia?" Luke growled.

"Well, when I say amnesia, I mean partial amnesia. She doesn't remember some things and has substituted others to fill in the blanks. And that's where you come in."

Luke was still confused. "I get the amnesia, but why is that where I come in?"

Dr. Levine chuckled. "I'm getting to that. Tell me, did Lorelai plan on getting married?"

Luke frowned. The thought of the aborted wedding to Max still angered him. "Yeah, that was a while back though. She ran off the week before the wedding."

Dr. Levine nodded. "She remembers planning the wedding and you being around a lot to help." She waited for Luke's cautious nod before continuing. "And I believe you built her a chuppa."

"She really wanted it and she kept asking and wheedling. It wasn't pretty. So I agreed to save her dignity." Luke smiled fondly at the memory.

Dr. Levine smiled. "Well, and there we have the crux of the matter. Lorelai has some serious gaps in her memory, one of them being Max. Maybe it was too painful a memory to hold. The mind is a weird and wonderful thing, whose actions we can not even come close to understanding. She remembers planning a wedding, indirectly with you. Remembers the chuppa and therefore concluded that you have been happily married for the last year or so. She answers most questions readily enough, but asking about the wedding in particular leads to distress when she can't remember."

"So what happens now?" Luke asked, even though he had a fair idea and he didn't like the direction his thoughts were taking one bit. Dr. Levine must have sensed his discomfort, for she smiled ruefully.

"Partial amnesia usually disappears by itself and we would like to give Lorelai the chance to remember on her own." She stopped.

"And?" Luke prompted.

For the first time since he had entered her office, Dr, Levine looked uncomfortable. She rallied however and pressed on. "That means you would have to support the memories her mind has conjured to fill the gap and live up them."

A pained look passed over Luke's face and his voice became pressed: "You don't know what you are asking."

The doctor gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm asking you to be her friend. It will take sacrifices, but if you really do not want to do this, then there is no way I can force you to. Please, I am asking you to do her the greatest favour a friend could ask from another. Affirm her belief that you are married. I know it is not easy, but it is for the best. Lorelai insists she go home and bar drugging her there is no way we can keep her here against her will. Apart from the concussion there is nothing really wrong with her. Budget cuts demand we clear beds as soon as possible. She can't stay here."

Even as he nodded his acceptance, Luke cringed inside. 'This is going to be really bad.'

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At that moment a knock on the door heralded Rory's arrival. As soon as the girl had walked through the door, she pinned Luke: "What's going on. Kirk says Mom has had an accident and he wouldn't tell me what happened. He just kept mumbling about how freaky it all was and something about wives and daughters. What is wrong?" She took a deep breath.

Fortunately for Luke, Dr. Levine took over and gave a brief summary, closing with the words: "And Luke has agreed to help."

As the two women turned to look at him, Luke flushed and grumbled: "Of course, I'll help. She's my best friend." He shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting slightly from one foot to the other. It caught him completely by surprise when Rory practically threw herself at him and hugged him. After a second he brought up his hands and returned the hug.

Dr. Levine smiled. "I think we should all go to Lorelai's room. I'm hoping that her daughter and her husband can convince her to stay another two nights for observation."

"Oh! We have to!" Rory burst out. As everyone asked themselves what she could possibly be talking about, she continued: "We need time to prepare. As soon as Mom walks through the door, she'll realise something isn't right. And what about Sookie and everyone else? We'll need to tell them. And, Oh! Grandma! They're expecting us for dinner tomorrow night." She stopped for a second to take a much needed breath. Luke hid a smile as he realised what was coming next. And sure enough: "We need to make a list."

Dr. Levine interrupted. "First things first. I have a rather anxious patient down the hall waiting for her family. We'll go see her, persuade her to stay for a few more days and then you can go off and plan. Agreed?"

Rory and Luke nodded. "Right then, follow me."

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Dr. Levine in the lead, they made their way to Lorelai's room. Just outside it, Dr. Levine imparted her last words before going off to see other patients. "Lorelai wants to see you first, Luke. She say her husband has the tendency to worry needlessly. Don't excite her too much. I'll meet up with you again in two hours in the cafeteria. The coffee isn't fantastic but will have to do. Now I really must be going. I do have other patients you know." Her smile took the sting out of her words and seconds later Rory and Luke were alone.

"You'd better go in. Mom can get impatient. You know that."

Luke gave a half grin. "Tell me about it. Patient she aint. What about you?"

"Oh, I'll be fine. I'll see if I can find a copy of the New York Times in this place."

Luke nodded, took a deep breath to steel himself and tapped lightly on the door before opening it and going in.

Just before it shut again, Rory heard her mother's voice.

"Hey Honey. You're here. Did you bring any coffee?"


End file.
